Music

      I am the BIGGEST nerd for it. There is something about reading music and playing an instrument that leaves a permanent mark on your soul.
      I started playing clarinet in fifth grade and have not stopped since. Though I do need to practice more, I'm even actually pretty good. Mainly, I love to play nothing and let the notes just flow. It's different from when I play my Bass guitar, where I love playing along with music. There is something about it that is undeniably magical.
      Last night, I went online looking for a new phone case. My dad has amazon prime, so I thought I may have better luck there than in the Metro store, which is disappointingly limited in options. I was a little dismayed at the 317 pages to scroll through, but started my relentless search, anyways.
      To further prove my musical nerd tendencies, I found a bejeweled phone case, covered in music notes and piano keys. I so, so, had to have it. My dad found it ridiculous it cost 15 dollars. My mom found it funny  I wanted a bejeweled phone case. It was a lose-lose situation, that I came out of with a new phone case awaiting delivery.
      I have this humorous personality that let's me enjoy the small things in life. Thank God, because otherwise I would have stuck with a plain, boring case with Winnie the Pooh on it. (May I just say, don't judge. My mother loves Winnie the Pooh, and threw a fit over it. Her phone didn't have that little bear as an option :p)

Weirdest Summer Weather

      The sky is still grey, and a steady drizzle has taken over. The streets are wet and covered in puddles, that  spray as cars drive by. I fear the sun is hiding its face from us in a blanket of clouds, shying away from its seasonal duties.
      This time last year I spent at the beach, laughing and being sprayed by salty ocean air. Now, the only spray i'm getting is rain and pizza sauce. I hoped to spend a lot of time at the beach this summer, but I needed a job, also. If the weather doesn't warm up soon, I fear my beach visits will be even more limited.
      Every time iv'e left the house these last two days, iv'e seen kids walking through the streets, looking dazed. This is their extended school break after all, not meant to be spent indoors. I haven't heard the labored dribble of a basket ball, or stressful scream of a serious game of tag in a long time. These are the things I have come to relate to summer, but for now I am sadly let down.
      I have a feeling tonight will be busy tonight at work. Unexpected bouts of rain always make people drowsy and lazy. It means that I will probably hear the squeals of child play after all however, due to the limited arcade games in our Round Table.
       At least I have one thing to cheer my hopes- I bought an Alex Cross novel on my Nook last night. Iv'e come to find this weather to be perfect for reading, not that its a requirement. I'd read this book if it were 102 right now! James Patterson, the author of the Alex Cross series, is definitely my favorite author. He is a brilliant writer, and this series always keeps me at the edge of my seat. Well, more like out of it, while chanting "I just want to know what happens next!". (Much to my dad's annoyance.) If you love suspense novels, I fully recommend this one. I will warn you though, Alex Cross is a detective. It gets pretty scenic and was absolutely not written for younger readers. (If you have kids like my sister and I, who couldn't be satisfied by all the books in the world because there's never enough, I will recommend the Maximum Ride series. James Patterson wrote this also, and my sister and I were entranced with these ones!)
     

The Sky

      When I look at the sky, I often find it a reflection of the earth. It weeps, it rejoices, and it pleads. The golden sun of a perfect sunset, dampened by the pink and orange hues of exhaust. The magnificent blue sky, cloudless and perfect for play, darkened, destroying the day. The moon that waxes and wanes, rotating in perfection for changes worldwide.
      I like to take moments of the day, wasting them by looking up. It never looks the same twice. A cloud in different placements and rain that never drops in the same place has kept the child in me stirring in wonder for years. Many people take it for granted, passing my amazement off as a tree hugger tendency. I object to this greatly. I believe people just don't take enough deep breaths in their lives, stopping to enjoy greater gifts from God.
      Here we are, in the middle of summer, and the sky is grey. Clouds are invading, and tears are threatening to spill. When I was a kid, I used to believe that when it rained the angels in heaven were weeping. Over time that view changed to God being sad. I now stick to the latter belief, since rain was only created due to God's hurt over human corruption.
      With everything going on in our church, ours locally and the world church, I feel today more than ever it must be God's tears. SO many of his kids are hurting each other, no one stopping to consider the other. People are aimlessly rushing around, giving no respect to God on his day. More than that, lies and deception are dangerously increasing daily and no one is the wiser. Agenda 21 seems to be growing near, and its supporters growing large. I would understand God's sorrow.

Just a Little Bit About My Week

      My first day at work went great. I caught on fast, though I was very nervous at first. Eventually I was even able to fill a complete order by myself! You could imagine my excitement, which I believe makes me a dork. I even ended up flipping the makeup line, restocking, learning where everything was kept, swept the floors, and made friends with a girl that got partnered with me. The manager even stepped back and let her coach me, which she said was due to our obvious connection. YAY!
      I work again tonight, and I know things will go even more smoothly. I'm a little scared that i'll be entering in during dinner rush of the most busy night of the week, but I think i'll be OK. Hopefully that girl will be working again (why can't I remember her name?) so that I may catch a little empathy.
      Currently, my heart feels like is has been ripped out of my chest. Someone did something very awful to a person I care about deeply. It's the kind of thing that keeps you up at night, wondering how said person could ever deal with this. My prayers are with her, and I hope everything turn out at least somewhat alright. She has had a very hard life and if anyone deserves to come out of this, it's her. I've never known anyone with such a pure heart and constantly kind intentions.
      I hope my credit card get's here sometime before next month. I'd like to avoid bank fees, which sadly means using my card six times a month, because I doubt i'll make enough to avoid the fees through direct deposit. Speaking of which, my I.D. needs to hurry, also! I don't know how I could deposit the first live check without an I.D. confirmation.
      My mom and I have decided to work with children at church. Perfect practice for me, seeing how I want to be a counselor for adolescents. Problem is, they require we wear skirts or dresses. We just started attending church a number of months ago, so this has posed as a problem. We each only own a couple. Her more than I, since my numbers are currently two. Luckily she knows how to use a sewing machine (i'll get around to it this year), so she has made one for my sister already. I get to pick out my fabric today, as soon as she gets back from dropping my sister off in Lodi.
      PLEASE keep my friend in your prayers this week. Even though you don't know her, God works in miraculous ways. It will be know and appreciated, regardless. :)

Hidden Beauty is Always Greater Beauty

      My father has this recent obsession with reading and watching things on the internet. While it is for educational purposes, both of God and things happening in the world, he sometimes stumbles upon things that make you "say what". He does find great things also though, like the bible college I wish to attend and this story i'm about to tell.
      We were watching a baptist pastor preach an undeniably touching message about what it means to be a christian. It was a great, powerful message, that only got greater. You see, he was yelling and weeping about how Americans claim to be Christians but do not allow their "Christianity" to work in them. To prove his point, he told the story of a little boy he came across during a mission trip to Peru.
     This little boy, sadly unnameable, came running up the street screaming "I can't do it!". Immediately after came a group of adult men, chasing this poor boy. It did not take long for the men to catch him, throwing him on the ground as they did. The boy kept yelling "I can't do it, I can't!", each time earning him an even harder beating. Bloody, begging for his life, the men could barely be heard. You wouldn't have guessed what they wanted him to do, until his final shout: "Please don't kill me, but please, I can't deny Jesus Christ". The little boy was beat to death in the street, as people around him watched and refused to help.
      By now, you're probably wondering how this story is, in any sense, beautiful. I'll admit, hearing a weeping older man tell this story made me weep, also. But the beauty goes way beyond a little boys death (seriously, that's just sick!). It was the reason he felt it worth dying. He was so dedicated and in love with Jesus, he accepted whatever would be done to him, in the name of his Lord's love. I tell you, his death made him the luckiest boy in the world- He died in the name of the Jesus, and was immediately sent to Jesus' side.
      How many Americans can actually say this would be their death of choice? Of them, who are dedicated enough to carry this out? In America, most of us aren't even willing to follow Jesus' word, never mind taking it to the point of death! Has not anyone heard "dying in the place of one you love"? So why not die FOR the one you love? If it were me, standing on a street corner preaching the gospel and a group of men held a gun to my head and told me to leave I WOULD SAY NO. If it got me killed I would keep preaching all the more. Jesus died for me. I would GLADLY die for him. If an nine-year-old boy understands a love that deep.......that's just too amazing for words.

God's Gifts are Sometimes so Small

      This is a fact that never ceases to amaze me, something I have pondered repeatedly these last couple days. You see, I decided last week to go job hunting for the first time. I do mean first. I've never been employed before and was anticipating many hard shut-downs. I didn't expect what would happen, was not surprised when it did, and could only begin to thank God over and over again.
      The first places I went for applications informed me they were both hiring, but did not seem enthused by my appearance. I sulked away, wondering if everyone would regard me in such a manner. Since Round Table was right next door to them, I decided "why not?". I walked in and waited patiently for the cashier to finish with customers, and asked if they were hiring. She immediately perked up, smiled, and replied "Actually, we are!". She told me to return the application tomorrow at 2-o'clock and ask for the manager, Jenny. I was so trying not to happy dance on the spot, considering she didn't make one intimidating face at me!
      I returned the next day and was in for another surprise- the manager interviewed me right then and there! My nerves were working of course, and it took me a while to get the hang of talking about myself. I relayed to her my school experiences and experiences with volunteer work, and she actually looked surprised herself. I don't know if my lack of experience even mattered, at that point. At the end she gave me instructions for the things she needed and to return them to her. She added that, based on my interview, my chances for getting the job looked good.
      I came back upon her instruction with the things she asked for, and she gave me a call saying as soon as I came in to fill out paperwork I had the job! First application turned in, first interview, first chance, first job! Someone told me I had beginners luck. Personally, I believe different.
       I'm hoping to go to college for christian counseling. In order to do so however, I needed extra money. Here's the catch- I wasn't being selfish, I honestly wanted the money to do God's work. He was watching over me, and gifted me with something great so that I could make it happen. That's something people often take for granted, or don't even realize. When your doing God's work, He is always watching after you.